


Ghost In The Curtains

by punkerbones



Category: Transformers: MTMTE, transformers: idw
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Canonical Character Death, Grief/Mourning, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-03
Updated: 2015-06-03
Packaged: 2018-04-02 18:12:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4069654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punkerbones/pseuds/punkerbones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a mission gone awry, Tarn finds himself mourning the loss of one of the DJD.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ghost In The Curtains

“If I hadn’t died, where do you think we’d be now?”

The question echoed in Tarn’s mind, lingering with far more weight than the haze from the copious amounts of Engex he had downed. He wasn’t even seated in the chair that was neatly tucked under the desk of his office. No, he was seated on the floor, posture slumped, back resting against the front of the desk. His fusion cannon was detached and at his side, forgotten for the time being. One pede slid across the floor, knocking over a three-quarters empty, glass mug.

Watching the purple-hued Engex trickle out across the floor, the glowing fluid finding every scratch and mar on the floor, Tarn sighed heavily. Every fiber in his body was numb and heavy, and he was grateful for the fact he could let the full glass he had in his hand rest on the floor. His vision blurred intermittently, in rhythm with the muddled haze that would run through his thoughts.

“Tarn?”

Though his body didn’t move, Tarn’s gaze lifted slightly when he heard Kaon’s voice again. A voice that he shouldn’t have been hearing.

Kaon’s dead body was interred in the same chamber that housed every piece of memorabilia and likeness of Megatron that Tarn had acquired over the years. Resting at the base of one of the statues, a thick cloth covering his still frame.

...and yet, still, Tarn could hear Kaon’s voice.

“Would you answer the question?”

“I…,” Tarn struggled to find any words that could possibly answer the question that was being put forth to him.

“Can you answer the question?”

“I...no,” Tarn finally replied with a heavy sigh. “No, Kaon. I-I cannot.”

“I wonder why.”

To his right, Tarn was vaguely aware of movement, and Kaon strode into his view. Or rather, the hallucination of Kaon brought on by his alcohol-soaked misery strode into his view. Of course, there was no sound of footfalls as Kaon’s pedes stepped on the floor. And, of course, the trickles of Engex he stepped in were undisturbed.

Even so, Tarn didn’t move. Guilt was an impressive weight, one that always managed to catch Tarn off guard, and coupled with the fact the room felt as though it were spinning slowly, the DJD leader had no desire to move. Whether it was the actual ghost of Kaon, as laughable as that was, or his own mind turning against him, Tarn didn’t really care.

“Could you at least tell me why, sir?” Kaon inquired, crouching down in front of Tarn. “Why you cannot answer that question?”

“What sort of answer is there?” Tarn countered with a short scoff. “What sort of answer can a leader possibly provide when he has failed to do one of the most basic tenants of keeping his subordinates safe?”

“The others are safe.”

“You...you, however, did not-” Tarn’s voice suddenly lurched in his throat, the words stopping sharply. Even now, as inebriated as he was, he was unable to actually say what had happened.

Kaon had been excitedly telling him that he’d gotten a lead on their next target, and that it wasn’t too far away, and… And, well, that had been when Kaon’s chassis had exploded open in a spray of sparks, Energon, and then, the part that had sent flares of horror to mix the alarm that had already begun to pound through Tarn, the rays of light as Kaon’s spark struggled to deal with the trauma suddenly inflicted on it.

If he had felt any pain, Kaon had shown no hint of it. His expression had been that of mute surprise, one hand feebly patting at his torn open chassis, while the other had reached out blindly towards Tarn. Kaon had managed a rasped “Oh…”, along with a few, stumbled steps, before he had pitched forward.

Of course, Tarn had caught him. The moment he had willed himself to move through the initial shock, the DJD leader had raced towards Kaon. When Kaon collapsed into his arms, Tarn had looked up just in time to see the sniper. ...and the damned mech had been grinning. Oh, but not for long… The sniper’s grin had lasted only as long as it had taken for Tarn to focus his Voice, and with the blinding fury that the DJD leader had been in, his Voice had ripped the grin right off the sniper’s features. It replaced that smug, arrogant, despicable grin with a look of horror, promptly followed by undiluted agony.

Whatever victory Tarn may have felt from that, though, was quickly replaced by the same horror when Kaon began to convulse weakly in his arms. Kaon’s Energon-coated digits had clawed at Tarn’s arms, then chassis, and finally, when Kaon had managed to barely wheeze out a plea for help, his hand had clutched at Tarn’s faceplate.

Reluctantly pulling himself out of his thoughts, Tarn lifted his tired gaze back up to...whatever version of Kaon it was that stood in front of him. Certainly wasn’t the actual Kaon, but Tarn was far too tired to argue otherwise. Kaon was giving him an expectant look, head tilted slightly. Growling, Tarn instead turned his attention back to the glass he had in hand. Promptly drinking up as much as he could through the straw, grimacing at the sharp burn, Tarn snarled and kept his gaze averted.

“Whatever...you are,” Tarn rumbled threateningly, “get out of my sight. You’re an insult to the memory of Kaon and I will not have you sullying it so blatantly.”

“I’m not...me?” Kaon sounded disappointed. After a moment, he made a short scoff. “Well, then who am I?”

“A hallucination,” Tarn snapped back, taking another long drink. “A hallucination brought on...by this Engex and...guilt. I’ve no time for this.”

“Guilt? Why is there any guilt?”

The question was so ignorant, so thoughtless, that Tarn threw aside his drink with a snarl and lunged forward clumsily, his spinning senses providing no coordination. He reached out violently, digits curled around like claws, but stopped the moment his gaze fell on Kaon’s expression. Kaon’s...crestfallen expression.

His hand trembled momentarily and Tarn let it fall to the floor, along with his gaze. Mentally cursing himself for how pathetic he must appear, the DJD leader struggled to focus his senses as they swam sickeningly. Clutching at the floor, Tarn shook his head slowly.

“How can...you even ask that?” he finally murmured. What few lights were powered on in the room dimmed suddenly, and Kaon looked around slowly before turning his somber gaze to Tarn.

“Why do you feel guilt?” Kaon repeated, kneeling down.

“...Kaon...I never wanted-” Tarn gritted his dentae as his voice creaked, the lights in the room fading once again as a low, electronic feedback sound rose in the air. “-never wanted to have to...re...replace you.”

There was a long moment of silence, and Tarn took the opportunity to begrudgingly sit back up, unceremoniously collapsing back against the desk. He made sure to keep his gaze averted from Kaon, instead putting his focus on the shattered remnants of his glass. The Engex was splattered across the floor, and Tarn made a low scoff as he imagined the lecture he would get from Nickel about the mess he had managed to make.

“Would you truly be replacing me?” Kaon inquired, leaning forward. “I would like to hope that it would be another taking up the name of Kaon and that you not forget me.”

“Forget you?!” Tarn demanded in alarm, his gaze snapping up. “I never wanted it to come to this, Kaon! I believed you dead once before, and since then I have dreaded this day! I...never wanted to see this day come.”

“In that case,” Kaon murmured, the faintest hint of a grin playing across his features. “If I hadn’t died, where do you think we’d be now?”

A bitter smile flashed across Tarn’s scarred lips, only partially concealed by his faceplate.

“Going after our next target,” he replied slowly. “I would...most likely reprimand you for letting the Pet chew on something it shouldn’t have. ...we would be sharing a drink of something far better than this Engex.”

Hearing no answer, Tarn lifted his blurred gaze...to see that he was the only one in the room once again. His vision blurred once again, but this time it was not due to the Engex. And when Tarn spoke, his voice was low, faintly melodic, and the lights in the room completely faded out.

“And...I fear I would still be blissfully ignorant of...your importance to me, Kaon.”

 


End file.
